Thursday, February 3, 2011
on bad roommates
I have recently been the witness to some really shitty roommate business. Let me explain:
We'll call my best friend Jane. Now Jane has a three roommates, roommate number one, two and three.
Roommate number one refuses to hangout with Jane. They live together now because they were absolute best friends in the whole entire world. Now that it's been about seven months since they've moved in together, they never hang out. Jane invites Number One to go out to dinner, go out for frozen yogurt, dancing, etc. She always invites her to go. They now rarely hang out and only see each other in passing.
Roommate number two has just been indifferent. Nothing bad, but nothing good either.
Now... Roommate number three. This is a whole different story. Jane has always been on rocky terms with Number Three. She was a potluck roommate, so they never met her prior to them moving in. She seemed nice enough; she had decorated the apartment, stocked the kitchen and was working for the apartment complex.
A couple weeks into the semester, it started getting rocky. Number three started leaving her bike in the living room, she left all of her school supplies out in the living room and would leave dishes in the sink for up to two weeks. Jane would clean up Number three's mess and organize her school supplies so that everyone in the apartment could use the table. The following day of one particular incident including glitter and newspapers strewn all over the floor, Number three proceeded to yell and scream at Jane in front of myself and our other best friend. Things were never the same...
The most recent incident started with Number three asking Jane if she could have her birthday party in their apartment. Jane nicely told her that she appreciated her asking, but she didn't feel comfortable with her having her party there. Cause honestly... A bunch of drunk people you don't know running around your place of living can be kind of weird.
Following Jane's reply, this is a direct quote of what Number three said:
"Get over it. It's not like its hurting anyone anyways."
Jane told her not be rude.
"Screw you. My birthday. My party. I'll have it where I damn well please. I was trying to be nice and ask you first. You and I clearly don't get along.... I'll let you know if I decide to have the party here so you can make arrangements to not be here. You are not welcome to any party of mine."
Seriously? I'm definitely blessed to have a roommate that I get along with and don't mind living with.
I just feel bad because "Jane" is one of my best friends and was incredibly angry about all of the incidents.
I don't have very much true advice on this subject, but here's what I think about roommates:
1. Set "house rules". This is pretty explanatory. Me and my future roommates have already sat down and started talking about what we're comfortable and not comfortable with.
2. Understand you're feelings towards the people you'll be living with (if you know them before your living with them). Know what you love and don't so much love. Learn to deal with being irritated with a certain trait of their personality, etc. But honestly, if you have lots of problems with their personality maybe you shouldn't be living with them....
And I don't have a third piece of advice... yet.